This training cycle is no exception.
I've spent the past few days trying to figure out why I'm so upset that things aren't happening according to plan. Especially since I've always had a "Murphy's Law" type relationship with running (i.e. something will probably go wrong). One would assume that if I know something is likely to go wrong, I would lower my expectations, adjust my hopes and goals, maybe don't believe that "everything will be fine this time" right?
Instead, I allow myself to dream of perfect runs with decent paces. I imagine the miles getting easier to complete. I plan months in advance and adjust my entire life to accommodate my marathon training, all because I believe (naively) that it will be worth it; that this training cycle will be different.
But it never is. All my marathon training cycles include the same soul crushing, heart breaking disappointment. Though the extent of the disappointment always varies... and yes, I know time heals all injuries... this particular set back has derailed me.
I tried not to focus on the pain during my long run this morning. I tried to stay in the moment and just focus on one interval at a time. But increasingly each interval felt daunting, each step more painful, each breath more difficult.
There were moments (so many of them) that it took all my energy not to stop and cry. Indeed, towards the end I wondered what was the point? Why bother continue a run that's difficult and both physically and emotionally exhausting? But the reality is when I started the long run I committed to completing it. I committed to giving up other things that are important to me (like sleep, and binge watching shows on Hulu) so that I can train. I believed that training is important... even when it's difficult.
Marathon training seems to come so easily for others. I know I'm not the only one who has gone through difficult training cycles, but I don't know many people who have struggled as much as I have, or who have gotten injured as many times as I have. Maybe that's because people rarely talk about the pain they are in, and social media/ blog posts only reflect when things are going well... maybe.
A part of me wishes I had a time machine that could take me back to the beginning of the training cycle, before everything started, and just change the course of history so that the training mistakes were never made. Or maybe I could go back to the start of training with the knowledge that "I will get injured again" so that I'm not as derailed when it happens. Or I can stop training, like I knew I should have, when the warning signs of injury showed up. Or maybe just not start training in the first place.
But... time heals all injuries... and now I can only hope that time will pass by quickly.
Have you ever been injured during your marathon/half marathon training?
What's the worst injury/set back you've had to deal with during training?